As 2019 nears its inevitable rest, and 2020 soon sweeps us into a new decade, and while there’s still some quiet surrounding me before the buzz of year-end, today feels like a comfortable time for some uncomfortable reflection. 

What to say about 2019? 

Honestly, I feel like I clawed my way through this past year. It was an angry year, though I never thought of myself as an angry person. 

As I page through my journal, I see a constant flow of quotes, mottos, affirmations, etc. written not to help me thrive, but rather just to cope. 

Is my pride still in tact? Not really. 

Could it have been worse? Oh yeah.

Is any of the damage unfixable? I hope not. 

Do I feel optimistic that 2020 will be better? Absolutely.

I once worked with a beautiful woman named Maureen, and even though it’s been many, many years since I’ve seen her, I think of her often. Her disposition was peaceful, loving, and gentle – always. She was a source of light. You would have thought her life was perfect. It wasn’t. But she wore her serenity like a saint. I’ve been wearing my anger like a red ball gown. An over-sized red ball gown with built-in blinking lights. 

It’s time to make some changes. To get more involved. To stop obsessing over my own concerns and start thinking how can I be of use in the world.  

It’s time to appreciate the beauty of where I currently live, rather than resent its isolation.

It’s time to combat the isolation by getting more involved with people and places. 

It’s time to reconnect with the parts of me that I used to like, and grow in new ways. – In ways I only dreamed of before. Doesn’t this new upcoming decade seem like the perfect time for that! 

How was your 2019? Was it rough? If so, let me give you a big virtual hug and sincerely say that I hope 2020 ushers in happier, gentler times. If 2019 was a year you will look back fondly on, then let me also give you a big virtual hug, because that’s awesome! Surely not every hand you were dealt was a winner, but I love that you chose to live in gratitude and see 2019 for the beauty it provided. 

If you feel like sharing your reflections and thoughts, please comment below. I’d love to hear from you! (Remember: I’m still feeling pretty isolated. Wink, wink.) 

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! … and here’s to a very happy New Year!